The Phases of Sam Evans
by Goldstar94
Summary: It really didn't matter who he was. Because that person was always changing.
1. The Ugly Phase, Part 1

**Title:** The Phases of Sam Evans

**Author:** Gold Star 94 (Kaileigh)

**Rating:** Risqué PG-13 to Mild R

**Author's Note:** (That is probably worthy of its own chapter) It's been almost two years since I have written any kind of fan fiction and after a year of only writing essays, I'm definitely ready to flex my creative writing muscles again. Although I've written Glee stories before, I have never written one centered around Sam Evans, as I've typically only written around Rachel, Finn, and Quinn. But lately I've been super obsessed with Sam and Chord Overstreet in general. After reading _Sam Evans' Four Steps to Getting Your Man_ and _Who is Sam Evans?_ I was beyond inspired. I originally intended this to be a one-shot, but I'm thinking this will probably last quite a few chapters. This is the first part of this chapter, which is the unbeta'd product of obsession, inspiration, and a random burst of energy. :]

**Warning:** This will get better.

I swear.

_**The Ugly Phase, or Reasons to Be Pretty Part 1**_

"This is so gay," He whined to his friend, Courtney, as she gingerly and watchfully combed what seemed to be a vat of lemon juice through his mousy brown hair.

She sighed heavily. "Sam, do you want to look cool or not?" She calmly responded to the boy, as though she was a mother trying to reason with an impatient child. Which at this point, he was to her. "Need I remind you of the plan?"

Sam rolled his eyes and nodded reluctantly, as though he did not want to admit that his quirky friend was correct. It had been about four months since Sam's father had lost his job and Courtney had been there to listen to the fearful boy discuss his worries about the future. A few months following that shocking news, Courtney was once again there to hold his hand when he discovered that his father had been offered a job in Lima, Ohio and his family would unfortunately have to leave his hometown of Nashville, Tennessee for his new job.

He tried to take the fact his family would have to move as a good thing. He was unexpectedly was being given a fresh start, which was something he was desperately needing at the time. Since middle school, Sam had been enrolled at the same all-boys private school and had been surrounded by the same group of boys that he had gotten along with up until eighth grade. Around that time is when all the other boys seemed to get "hot", according to the girls at his school's sister school across the way, thanks to puberty, which appeared to be a God send to some and a curse to Sam. While the other students were blessed with facial hair and deep, sexy man voices, Sam was burdened with acne and a voice that did not actually begin to drop until he was about fifteen. Not to mention, his already huge-ass mouth seemed to get bigger with age.

It seemed every girl in the world flocked to the boys that Sam once spent every weekend hanging out with. And it really sucked to be left out all the time simply because he was not as attractive as the other kids.

Well, he wasn't always left out. He sometimes got invited to go on double dates, so his hot friend could mack on the hot girl, while Sam was left to entertain her ugly friend. That's actually how he met the girl currently coating his hair in lemon juice. The two ugly ducklings quickly took a liking to each other after yet another awkward double date in which the two tried to fill the deafening silence between the group, as their two hot friends attacked one another's face completely unfazed by the fact they were in a public place receiving disgusted looks from other people. They talked about comic books and sci-fi movies and vintage sports cars and Sam thought about how he had once believed he would never find a girl interested in the same things that he was interested in. (He only wished that this dream girl, in theory, was as attractive as the girl who was getting mauled by his friend.)

"I have the most brilliant plan in the world," Courtney cooed in a singsong voice, as she entered Sam's box-filled room.

"And that would be…?" He replied halfheartedly, as he vacillated between throwing away his juvenile collection of Pokémon cards and moving them to Lima. (Throw away his kickass collection? Fuck no. This shit was gold.)

"So, you know how you said you wanted to be more attractive when you moved to Lima?" Sam nodded. "And then I said that I already thought you were the most attractive boy in the world in hopes that you would say something as romantic as what I had said back, but instead you freaked out and changed the subject to Megan Fox's nipples?" The boy nodded once again sheepishly. "Well, I have devised the most perfect plan to make you a stud."

"I'm listening,"

Courtney began to explain her elaborate plan to her best friend. All they had to do was combine all the traits that girls found dreamy about their crushes into one person and voila, they would create their own Frankenstein hunk of a man that every girl would find irresistible. Originally Sam scoffed at the idea. If it were truly that easy to be attractive, then wouldn't he and Courtney already be? "But on the other hand, what do I have to lose? It's not like I can honestly get more awkward or hideous, right?" Courtney smiled triumphantly.

The two quickly began flipping through magazines in order to finalize the image of what their Perfect Man would look like. The two knew they had to work fast, as they only had three months to complete Sam's transformation. (And they had a lot of work ahead of them.) After much deliberation, this was their conclusion:

Brad Pitt's Smile

Justin Berber's Haircut (So Sam could do that "really sexy flippy thing" according to Courtney)

A mix between Ryan Reynolds and Batman's body ("Because they're fucking jacked, man!")

Zack Morris' Blonde Hair (Sam always had a thing for Kelly Kapowski and really wanted to get with a head cheerleader as well.)

Zac Efron's Fashion Sense (Courtney assumed it would be ultimately foolproof for her fashion-challenged friend and that tight jeans would also show off his junk.)

"And you're also going to need join some kind of really manly sports team. Like hockey or baseball,"

"Or bowling!" Sam shouted out, unfortunately, very seriously.

As the third month of the pair's hard work began to draw near, Sam could not help but to admire his new outer appearance. Thanks to his overuse of Crest Whitening Strips, his once lackluster smile was now swoon-worthy, and his skin which used to be one of his insecurities had finally cleared from using ProActive, which he claimed felt like he was pouring acid all over his face. He had convinced his parents to let him sign up for a free football clinic sponsored by his school and had traded videogames for intense cardio workouts at the gym and breakfasts of cold pizza and pop-tarts for fresh fruit and protein shakes. His body surely showed the results of his dedication to his new active and healthy lifestyle. When he looked in the mirror, he couldn't help but think that he would sure as hell tap that fine, hard ass of his. He had cut his long, shaggy hair to look like that of Justin Beiber and it was almost time to make his average looking brown hair worthy of Tiffany Thiessen herself. "Wait, so you're just going to put lemon in my hair?"

"Yep. And then all you do is sit in the sun for a couple of hours and your hair will get lighter. Plus, you'll also get a super awesome tan, which will make you look like some sexy California, surfer dude," Courtney replied assuredly.

"I changed my mind. I don't want to change my hair color," Sam said quickly.

"What? Why?"

"Well, isn't it kind of gay for guys to dye their hair? Besides, what if I end up looking hideous? I've worked too hard to look this good to just fuck it up by putting juice in my hair," He lifted up his to shirt to reveal his newly formed six-pack in order to emphasize his point.

"Sam, Sam, Sam," Courtney said comfortingly, as she guided her friend to sit on the edge of his bed. "Yes, you are attractive. But right now, you're like an eight. But you could be a ten, if you dyed your hair," Sam rolled his eyes and Courtney could tell she was losing his interest. "Do you want to get the Kelly Kapowski at your new school?" Sam nodded, as if to say, _Fuck yeah! That's why we have spent the majority of our summer giving me a makeover!_ "Then, do as I say and color your hair."

After four hours in the sun, Sam's hair had lightened significantly and his once pasty skin was now a dark, golden tan. Courtney and Sam smiled at each other, fully aware of the fact of how much better looking he now looked.

Sam and Courtney decided to celebrate his newfound attractiveness by going out and seeing how many girls he could pick up. Before leaving, Sam took a good look at himself in the mirror.

He was no longer worried about moving.

**Fin.**

_Reviews would be lovely. _


	2. The Ugly Phase, Part 2

**Author's Note**: I feel like I should issue a proper warning for what is ahead in this next installment, but in doing so, I would completely ruin the, hopefully, shock of what happens. So, let me just preface this chapter with an apology ahead of time, if it is something that ends up offending you. That is far from my intention and hopefully it will give you a better understanding of where I am heading with this story exactly.

And on that note, enjoy!

_**The Ugly Phase, or Reasons to Be Pretty Part 2**_

"Did you see how big that girl's rack was?"

"I'm really happy for you, Sam," Courtney says halfheartedly, as the two stroll through the mall after a successful hour of Sam picking up girls.

Sam stops in his tracks as soon as he hears the sadness in his friend's tone of voice. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Sam asks full of concern and grabs her arm.

She looks to him wondering how she should say exactly what is on her mind. She's happy for him. No, really. She's really, truly happy how confident his new look has made him. And after all, it was her idea to makeover her once gawky friend "It's just that…we're probably never going to hang out now. I mean, for as long as you're still in Nashville,"

"Courtney, you're my best friend, probably my only real friend. I'm not going to just bail on you now because a couple of girls are interested in me,"

"Sam, come on!"

"Come on, what?" He asks, his voice tinted with exasperation.

"You're really going to pass up getting to be with those girls to spend time with me?" She retorts back incredulously.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because they're prettier than me," She says quickly, as she blinks back tears. He sees the fresh tears begin to form in her eyes and he begins to panic. Crying girls really aren't his forte—especially when he's technically at fault for the tears.

"Courtney, you're-you're beautiful," He stammers out nervously. Sam's never said anything like that to her and he's afraid that doing so may lead his friend, who clearly has feelings for him, on.

"Yeah, on the inside. I've heard that a lot," She responds flatly and wipes away tears.

"No, more than just on the inside," And he's lying and that makes him feel like a pile of shit. He doesn't find her attractive physically, not in the slightest. And he has no idea why he thought it would be a good idea to take his already insecure friend with him to ogle over girls he finds hot. "I mean, you're the most beautiful person I know. Like your eyes…" He pauses as he searches for a compliment; one that's vague enough so she hopefully won't read too much into what he's saying, but one that's meaningful enough so she'll actually believe the bullshit he's spewing. Fuck, why is he doing this? "…they're pretty. And like you said, you're beautiful on the inside. And that's the most important thing. Not to mention, you have the most amazing personality. I mean, look at me! I'm such a huge freaking loser and if I ever go on a date with any of the girls I met today, I'm going to be so fucked. All I'm going to be able to talk about is freaking Star Trek. I honestly don't know a single girl who actually finds that interesting," Sam notices that Courtney is smiling and that her tears have subsided.

"I like when you talk about Star Trek," She says sheepishly.

He inwardly chuckles. "Of course you do. And that's what makes you all the more beautiful; you put up with shitheads like myself," The two share a laugh, before leaving the mall to go to Sam's house to watch a Doctor Who marathon.

She's filled with elation knowing that her crush of two years thinks she's beautiful.

He's filled with guilt for lying to the girl who's had a crush on him for two years about what he thinks of her outer appearance.

And as Courtney predicted, the two don't see each other after that day.

Because Sam's social life has begun to take off with parties, beer pong, and solo dates with girls rather than that double date, keep-the-ugly-chick-busy-while-I-finger-her-best-friend bullshit he's put up with for the past two years. And he thinks that Courtney will understand why they haven't hung out. She's _totally _the understanding type. He just didn't have room for any more girls in his life right now. (Especially girls who he wasn't getting head from.) He's just really appreciating all the attention he's getting from girls who are really appreciating his new appearance.

A few days before he's supposed to be moving to Lima, he runs into Brian, an old friend of his who he's known since kindergarten, but really hasn't spoken to unless Brian was in need of Sam's double date services. "Yeah, dude, we most definitely need to hang out before you leave!"

"For sure, man. I leave Friday, so do you want to meet up tomorrow at your house?"

Brian quickly accepts his offer.

The next day, Sam shows up at Brian's house approximately fifteen minutes late. If there's one thing that Sam has learned since becoming cool, it's that punctuality is lame and being fashionably late makes you look you're busy doing other cool things, thus making you look cool. "Yo, dude! What's up?" Brian greets when Sam arrives at his house.

"Not much, bro. What about y-" And he loses his train of thought.

Because all of the sudden, he feels Brian's hand make contact with his ass as he offers a quick pat. Sam jumps a little and if it weren't for the fact that a hand—a man's hand-just touched his bottom, he would be mentally chastising himself for doing something as uncool as what he just did. "What are you doing?" He asks confused and startled.

"What do you mean?" Brian responds, seemingly oblivious to the fact that it isn't normal to just spank your guy's friend butt.

"Um…you just…you know…" Should he say spanked? That just sounds really kinky and weird to Sam and as though it belongs in some cheap, absurd porno.

"Oh, you mean that pat?" Brian lets out a big laugh, as if to imply that Sam is the biggest motherfucker to ever walk the face of the earth. Not that he's anything to worry about, since Sam definitely feels like one. "Have you been hanging out with that one fugly chick so much you've forgotten how guys act around each other?"

"It just seemed kind of…"

"What?" Brian asks in a provoking manner. "Gay? Come on, man. I've gotten more girls to go down on me than you have and you really think I'm gay? It's not like I jerked you off! All I did was slap your ass! Nothing gay about that," He adds finally, completely self-assured.

Sam feels like a huge idiot. Did he seriously just freak out about getting his butt spanked? The guys on the football team do it all the time! "Yeah, you're right, man. Sorry, it just caught me off guard,"

And with that, the boys continue on with their plans, as they eat everything in Brian's refrigerator and talk about all the girls they have hooked up and who has gone the farthest. "No, trust me, dude. Meg definitely gives the best head. She does this crazy thing with her tongue and it's just like, 'Sweet Jesus,'" Sam says, as he punches Brian in the arm and Brian laughs.

Sam notices that Brian has been staring intently at his mouth since he made that remark. "You alright, man?" He asks mildly confused and stuffs a Dorito into his mouth.

"Yeah, no. I was just thinking that with a mouth like yours…" His voice begins to trail off.

"What?" Sam asks, suddenly self-conscious about his abnormally large, pink lips.

"Just…you'd probably be really good at giving blowjobs," Brian says casually, as if he just said the most normal thing in the world.

Sam just stares at him.

There may have not been anything gay about Brian smacking him on the ass, but there was something very gay about what he just said. No ifs, ands, or motherfucking buts about it.

Brian notices the way Sam is looking at him and scoffs at the fake blonde's look of shock. "Dude, it was a joke. What, do you think I'm actually thinking about you sucking some guy's dick? You're so freaking weird,"

Really? He just said that Sam would be good at giving head, and he's the weird one? "And let me guess, there's nothing gay about saying something like that, right?" Sam asks, mocking the original statement Brian had made earlier.

"Not a gay thing about it," He responds, practically mocking himself, as well.

The awkwardness that was that hang out between the two continues to build for two more hours, until it finally feels as though Sam must get the fuck out of that house because of all the "not" gay things that Brian has done. "Yeah, I'm sorry. My family's just leaving early in the morning tomorrow, so I should probably head home. Like, right now," Sam says, as he quickly makes his way to the door.

"What? No hug?" Brian says in an almost flirtatious tone and extends his arms outward in a hugging motion.

He has no idea why, but Sam goes along with it. His mother raised him with manners and there's no need to be rude, after all.

But seconds later, he's cursing his manners and regretting hugging Brian, because it's certainly lasted longer than it should. Sam's more than thankful when Brian begins to pull away.

But soon discovers that the boy only did so in order to be able to press his rough lips against Sam's.

"Wh-wh-what the fuck?" That's the only sentence he is able to form once he is able to pry himself away from Brian's grip. "And before you even think about saying it, there was something very, very, very gay about what you just did!"

"Sam, come on, you and I both know why I invited you over here," He says calmly, as if two seconds ago he wasn't practically attacking Sam. Brian takes a step towards and Sam instinctively takes one back. "Girls just don't do it for me anymore, Sammy. And then you got so fucking hot this summer! I just wanted to make our last day together memorable,"

"But I'm not gay!"

Brian scoffs and then realizes that Sam is being serious. "Wait, you have to be joking," Sam shakes his head vehemently. "Have you seen your hair? It practically screams queer!"

"I was trying to look like Justin Beiber and Zack Morris, so I could date a girl like Kelly Kapowski!"

All Brian can do is laugh. "And there's nothing gay about that?"

And with that, Sam leaves the house as fast as he can.

He really can't wait to get the fuck out of Nashville.

**Fin.**

_Reviews would really be quite nice. :]_

**Author's Note:** (Again.) I am sorry if it seems as though I'm poking fun at homosexuality or anything like that and if my use of the term "gay" was offensive. Knowing how the boys at my school talk, it seemed very in character for two high school boys to use the term incorrectly and insensitively. In fact, I hate it when people use the word "gay" in order to describe something as bad or stupid or what have you. I simply used it to serve the story and I hope anyone who reads this will be able to understand that. :]

And now I'm really done.


	3. The New Kid Phase

A/N: I'm going to go on with a third chapter, even though there haven't been any reviews and I'm not entirely sure anyone is reading this story, anyway. Ha ha. If you are, thank you for that, but I'd really appreciate just knowing that someone is out there. :)

**The New Kid Phase **

It's his first day at William McKinley High School.

And he's surprisingly not nervous. He knows he looks really good; he spent all summer ensuring that he would look as good as he does right now when he started school. Sam figured that if anything embarrassing did happen to him on his first day, he'd flash his winning, over-bleached smile and maybe be able to convince his classmates that making a fool of yourself was the new cool thing to do. If he got lost all he'd have to do is go up to a girl, any girl because he simply looked that good, flip his hair like he had been practicing all summer, and suddenly she'd be stammering out directions to his classroom from being completely in awe of his good looks.

By the end of first period, his peers are already whispering about the cute, new kid with the tight butt and bulging biceps.

"I heard he spent the summer in the Hamptons where he met Blake Lively and they totally did _it,_"

"Supposedly, he met Taylor Swift when he lived in Nashville and they dated for like a whole year. And then, when they broke up, she wrote her new album all about their relationship!"

"I heard he dyes his hair. What a homo,"

**(Fuck you, Courtney.)**

It's not long before he makes friends with some jock-looking guys in his PE class and they let him sit with them and some of the cheerleaders, or Cheerios, as he soon learns they are called. He thinks about how if he had not looked they way he does now, he would have probably ended up at some table near the garbage cans with a bunch of guys who have never felt up a pair of boobs or grew chest hair, talking about Star Wars. He cannot deny that a part of him wishes he were at that table, though. Because right now the people he's sitting with are completely fixated on talking about some chick that got knocked up—a Quincy Sambray or something like that. He figures she must be a major whore that has slept with the entire student body, who looks like a dog, and has tons of baby weight leftover from her pregnancy. He's never been one for gossip, even after he became cool, and Sam thinks that those guys he made up in his head talking about Star Wars would be really impressed with his James Earl Jones impression.

It's not long before he's snapped out of his thoughts, though, because a group of kids dressed alike pull out a stereo and begin singing "Empire State of Mind" in the middle of the quad. He wonders if every lunch at his new school has some kind of impromptu performance, like some kind of remake of High School Musical. (If they do, he totally calls being Troy. He already dresses the part and has the haircut of a tool, after all.) Sam begins tapping his toe and bobbing his head. He's completely into their performance, as his mouth hangs agape before curving into a smile. And it's not long before one of the performers takes notice, a tall, uncoordinated boy who must be the group's leader. He smiles Sam's way and he suddenly feels like a huge creep for staring at these people while they're singing and dancing.

Dude must think that Sam is gay for looking at him for so long. (And this guy obviously is gay if he's in glee club.) He must be able to sense that Sam has once kissed a boy, even if it was against his will.

Sam quickly diverts his attention back to the mindless gossip the people he's sitting with are talking about. Apparently some girl named Samantha Lamas (or was it Lopez?) got a boob job.

The next day, the tall boy, who he later learns is Finn Hudson, the quarterback of the football team, approaches him at his locker. He says that he saw that Sam enjoyed the glee club's group number yesterday and Sam thinks that maybe now would be an appropriate time to interject that he isn't gay, even though he liked their performance, but decides to keep that to himself. It's not too long following their encounter that he is cajoled into singing "Billionaire" in front of the rest of guys in glee and he must admit, he has the time of his life doing so. It's the first time in a long time that he's felt that he hasn't had to hide behind some sort of façade of someone he isn't, even if the person he's presenting before these guys is a much cooler version of who he actually is. It really doesn't take too much convincing from Finn, Puck, Mike, and Artie to get Sam to audition for the entire club the following week. Perhaps it's nothing more than peer pressure from Finn, who is the one that manages to seal the deal, that makes him even consider joining the club, considering how it goes against everything he and Courtney worked so hard to solidify this summer. Sam figures that if the quarterback, who is nothing short of godly in his book, can get away with singing show-tunes on a weekly basis, then maybe he can too. After all, Sam's like a thousand times more attractive than this guy, which definitely helps him out a lot. It doesn't even look like Finn looks after his skin by using a daily moisturizer with SPF—a tip from Courtney— while Sam is willing to dish out $20 for one.

But once Finn falls off, or is more or less completely tackled off, his quarterback pedestal, Sam begins to question whether or not going out for the glee club is such a smart idea. He receives his answer once word spreads that Finn got kicked off the team and the other football players begin to claim that they're glad to have that homo off their team, because it maybe it will mean they have a shot at winning a game this season.

It's 3 o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon. Sam should be at auditions for glee club. But instead he's out on the football field busting his ass in order to prove that he is worthy of the title he's just been given.

Quarterback.

_Quarter._

**Back. **

Quarterback. 

There is no doubt in Sam's mind that he's made the right decision by not going to the audition. He has everything he's ever wanted right now. Popularity. Good looks. Girls vying for his attention. He's not going to trade all of that in order to be able to sing a song with a bunch of misfits five days a week—even if he used to be a misfit himself. If he really wants to sing, he has a shower for that. But _this_—his popularity, his team, his reputation—is what's important right now.

The next day, Finn approaches him in the locker room, and asks him why he never showed up to the audition. Sam thinks for a moment about how he should respond to his question. He could lie and say something came up and that's why he never showed or he could simply be straightforward and honest with the dethroned king of William McKinley. He chooses the latter. After all, _he_ is the quarterback now. He is no longer at the mercy at others to get them to be friends with the new kid, because he now reigns over the entire school thanks to his new title. He feels no need to apologize for what he has to say because of all the power that has gone to his pretty, blonde head.

And with that, Sam grabs his helmet and begins to make his way towards the door to the football field.

"Oh, yeah, you made the team. That's cool," Finn offers up almost pathetically. "What position?"

Sam pauses. "Quarterback," And suddenly, this title that he once carried with pride, has become some sort of cross to bear.

He sees the hurt in Finn's eyes and Sam cannot help but feel as though this is the ultimate betrayal to the person who took him under his wing when he was still the popular one and Sam was the odd man out. If only there was something Sam could do to right this wrong. He wishes he could just run up to Finn and kiss him and take away the hurt that—

Wait. What?

No.

No.

No. No. No.

He doesn't want to kiss Finn.

He doesn't.

That came out wrong. Because he has no desire to kiss Finn. None whatsoever. He just feels badly. Like, really, really, really, really badly. And that thing with Brian is still fresh, so it's at the forefront at his mind. And anyways, if Brian were here, he'd so say there's nothing gay about thinking something like that. It's called having a guilty conscious and everyone knows you can't think clearly when you have one of those. And, yeah. Sam's not gay. End of story. Period. Exclamation point. No question mark. Period.

He's not gay.

Seriously.

He's not.

**Fin.**

_Reviews would make my heart super happy. :]_


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